


Fix me up (my darling)

by Stardustwrites17



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Anyways, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Caring Merlin (Merlin), Cuddling & Snuggling, Day 5, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm very angsty lately, M/M, Night Terrors, Nightmares, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Merlin, Warning: PTSD, arthur pendragon has PTSD, it's all very mild but just in case, merthurweek2021, that should be a tag, warning: night terrors, you actually thought i loved you?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 08:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardustwrites17/pseuds/Stardustwrites17
Summary: For merthur week 2021 day 5: "you actually thought I loved you?"Arthur has seen and lived so many horrors in his young life. Some nights those horrors come back to haunt him.Merlin is there for him every single time.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 102
Collections: Merthur Week 2021





	Fix me up (my darling)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this quickly, it's the shortest thing I've done since I was like thirteen years old, but oh well. I hope you liked this.  
> Title from the song: Fix me up, by Sabrina Carpenter and Fin Argus.

_ He was running, fear nudging him to go faster, to hide from… what exactly was he running from?  _

_ His legs stopped on their own accord, his feet seemingly stuck on the ground. His heart beat wildly in his breast, he couldn’t get enough air in his lungs.  _

_ A cold breeze played with his hair, sending chills down his spine. He looked around, but he couldn’t make out his surroundings. They kept changing, from the citadel, to the town square, to his chambers, to a bloody battlefield. He could hear screams, fading in and out, shrieks of pain, cries for help, and the clashing of swords. He pressed his hands to his ears (or at least he thought he did, did he even have a body?). He could smell burning flesh close by.  _

_ Desperate, horror etched deep in his chest, he cried out the only name he could think of, the only person he felt safe around.  _

_ “MERLIN” _

_ He appeared from thin air, wearing his old clothes from when he was a servant. His eyes were cold and dark, emotionless as he stood there glaring at Arthur.  _

_ “Your fault.”  _

_ “Merlin-“ he tried, but he was distracted by the young druid boy behind Merlin, sopping wet and glaring at him with eyes that matched Merlin’s.  _

_ “You actually thought I loved you?” Merlin looked repulsed, as if the idea was enough to make him sick. Terror paralyzed, horror and desperation fighting for dominance in his chest.  _

_ Arthur stood there, frozen in place, as fire started to lick at Merlin’s limbs, his face, his chest. The smell of burning flesh overwhelmed him once more as Merlin’s screams filled his ears.  _

Wake up.  _ He told himself.  _ Wake up wake up wake up wake-

His eyes snapped open to stare at his chambers’ ceiling. He didn’t make a sound, didn’t move as he felt his heart beat wildly in his chest, his brain trying to catch up that this was reality, that it hadn’t been real. It happened sometimes, nights were Arthur (or Merlin, for that matter) would wake up from a night terror, unsure of when the dreams began and were they ended, the lines between reality and the dream-world smudged and unclear.

When he closed his eyes it was Merlin’s body he saw, covered in burns,  _ screaming-  _

_ Breathe.  _ He told himself, because air wouldn’t get past his throat. It stuck there, making tears well up in his eyes. 

He flinched when Merlin shifted beside him to lie facing him, his eyes still closed, his lips parted, sound asleep. 

Arthur let out a breath that came out more as a sob than anything else. He pressed his palm to his mouth, muffling any sound that threatened to leave his throat. It wasn’t enough. 

Merlin twitched at the noise, his brow furrowing before he opened his eyes. Arthur said nothing, just stared at Merlin in the darkness. Merlin must’ve seen something in Arthur’s expression, because he didn’t say anything either, merely looked at him, asking a thousand questions with his eyes. 

Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. 

And then, simultaneously and in sync, they moved, Arthur shifting to bring himself closer to Merlin, Merlin wrapping his arms around Arthur the moment he was close enough. 

Arthur buried his nose in Merlin’s neck, his senses overwhelmed by Merlin’s scent, his touch, chasing away the smell of burning flesh, the image of Merlin’s cold eyes.

Arthur didn’t realize he was shaking until Merlin’s arms tightened around him. Lips pressed against his head, murmuring something he didn’t quite catch.

_ You actually thought I loved you? _

Arthur let out a shaky sigh, pressing himself closer to Merlin. 

Merlin didn’t allow it. Instead he pulled away and held Arthur’s jaw in his hands, kissing him with such carefulness and devotion that it left Arthur short of breath once again. 

During daytime they were affectionate with each other, playful and passionate. Merlin usually kissed him with an urgency, like it was going to be the last time. They were bruising kisses, filled with the desperate love of someone who never would’ve thought that they’d get to have this. 

Arthur, on the other hand, liked to take his time, savoring the feel of Merlin’s lips against his, enjoying the small sounds that he extracted from Merlin, only to swallow them immediately in his kisses. 

But here, in the night’s darkness, Merlin kissed him gently, like too much pressure might break him. He kissed his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, his nose. He chased away the tears with his lips, all the while running his hands through his hair, every soft caress a promise, a reassurance that he was real, that he would never leave him. 

“I love you” 

The words slipped out, such an easy truth, something so engraved in his soul that Arthur said it without barely thinking. Merlin stopped with his administrations to whisper.

“My king” 

“My soul” Arthur responded, and brought his hands to cup Merlin’s cheeks. 

When the kiss ended Arthur sighed, shifted so that Merlin’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, Arthur’s head tucked under his chin. 

When morning inevitably came, neither said anything about what had happened. Arthur remembered his dream as a distant thing, the way one does after a bad dream, when the lines between dream and reality become more defined, tangible.

What he did remember was Merlin’s arms around him, tucking him against his chest as they fell asleep once more.

**Author's Note:**

> Arthur is my himbo and he deserves all the love and comfort.


End file.
